North Carolina "Hongries"
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Hi there!
Sit down for a minute. I imagine your day is busy, but take a minute to catch your breath …around the kitchen table.
I had an interesting bit of illumination happen yesterday. I was hurrying to get lunch ready for the tiny humans in my care - that were so ready to eat, when I glanced down with a smile, at the concoction sitting on my counter. It was one of those moments in a day when everything stops. I was drying my hands on a crisp, white kitchen towel and I wondered in the flurry, for the first time ever, “Where did this mess come from?”. It’s a mixture of smooth peanut butter, any-berry jam, butter and maple syrup. I put all the ingredients individually onto a big plate and mix it together with a fork until it’s creamy and paler than the peanut butter I originally put in. It looks questionable but it tastes divine; it’s easy to spread and, aside from the mixing, takes a step out of pb & j sandwiches which is a must in a house with a bunch of hungry little kids. As I got my mind back on track and threw my towel down to begin the slathering of my North Carolina Hongries (long “o” sound)
creation onto the bread, I determined to get to the bottom of the beginnings of the mess. I owe it to my grown kids, I thought. It’s a justifiable way to spend time on such a matter.
For a bit of history, it was my dad, James, who stood in the kitchen when I was a little girl and whipped up North Carolina Hongries. I gave it that name, because I had no idea what to call it. I always asked him what it was called, probably because I wanted to be sure I could name, with clarity, the stuff I was sure I’d never eat. He always just said “This? Oh, this is goo-ood. Mmm-mmm”, which was supposed to deflect my obvious horror. So when it didn’t and I asked again, the reply was “This will cure your North Carolina Hongries! Si’down.” I sat. What were North Carolina Hongries, and why did I need to be cured of them, or it? It didn’t matter in the end, no one was going to make me a separate meal just because I said “I didn’t want that”. In those days, McDonald’s was the only real fast food in our town and was still new-ish and considered a treat on the occasional Saturday rather than a regular occurrence or a fall back for busy parents. I don’t actually remember liking North Carolina Hongries when I ate it, nor disliking it for that matter. I just remember always, with great dread, seeing it on the plate (it still doesn’t make me happy when I see it on the plate). Eat it I did, though. And grew to love it. Maybe I didn’t know any different. Maybe we all just grow up loving or hating particular things that are indigenous to our own families.
To answer my overdue question, the next day I called my Aunt Molly to see if she remembered where in the world this recipe came from. She lives in North Carolina, always has. If you don’t already love people from the country, you should meet Aunt Molly. She is gracious and kind and strong and certain of her life. She’s surely beautiful and her Southern accent is endearing. When she leaves a message on my voicemail, my kids ask to listen to it, just to hear her speak. Today was no different, she answered the phone, “Well hey Li-iisa!” (most words are pronounced in two syllables regardless of how they’re written). I couldn’t help but smile when I heard her. I asked “Do you have any idea where the peanut butter and syrup….” but didn’t get the sentence out before she burst into laughter. I had to stop and giggle with her as she clearly knew what I was going to ask. Still, she let me finish and then said in the deepest Southern drawl, at a reasonably high pitch, “Yea. I know what’ch yer talkin’ ‘bout. Law (which I believe is a euphemism for Lord) Lisa, Mama’d frah fatbaa-ack of a mornin’ and mix it up with some ole sey-rup that Ah thank, came in a ti-an ca-an with a laih-on head own it and mix it up and thayn pour it over bis-kits she’d made; she made bis-kits ever’ mornin’ ‘fore she went to work.” It gave me the warmest flood of emotion to hear her tell of what she and my dad, and my other aunts and uncle, had for breakfast in those days. I remembered back myself, to hearty breakfasts I used to have at my grandma’s table. I loved it that Aunt Molly remembered the lion on the tin can (“a ti-an ca-an with a laih-on head own it”) so I looked it up and found that it was probably King’s syrup they had used back in the day. King’s syrup lovers claim that this syrup, mixed with butter and smeared on those delicious salty, golden, shortening biscuits, would make your mouth and your stomach sing. Yum. Aunt Molly’s rendition sounded close, but not quite... My grandparents were poor and butter was surely more expensive and harder to come by than the rendered grease from fried fatback (fatback is the layer of fat under the skin on the back of a pig), which you just have to understand from her statement, “we’d frah fatbaa-ack of a mornin’ and mix it up with some ole sey-rup”. So, to translate, they mixed that fatback grease with syrup and put it on a biscuit. Not so yum. As time went on, Aunt Molly explained, other things just got mixed in – including, you guessed it, peanut butter and jam, and eventually real butter rather than fat. For the record, Aunt Molly’s not a big breakfast eater even now.
After some other stories and family catch-up, I clicked “end call” and pondered what I’d heard…That’s how it was for them -and they didn’t complain. It was war time when my grandma was frying fatback and there was food rationing, including sugar and meat and cheese. Most everything. Each family had a ration book , and though it was a frustrating time, people made the most of what they had and what they had to do. Not begrudgingly either, but joyfully in spite of the burden. It just had to be done and they didn’t waste any time arguing with anybody about why they shouldn’t have to be rationed. They didn’t mind going without so that others could “have” during war time. It was a joint effort of a joined people. I think it worked because the general population, as a rule, didn’t consider themselves victims of the government and entitlement was something that belonged only to royalty in far off lands. They felt privileged to help because they had so much…even if it was just fatback and syrup.
So, here at the kitchen table, North Carolina Hongries are a delicious reminder of a time when people worked together for a common goal. Because people had to work and live together, manners mattered. Parents didn’t have to teach kindness and self esteem to their kids because they, themselves, exemplified responsibility and fostered compassion for others; kindness was a natural by-product.
Sometime soon, take your recipe, and mix yourself a plate of North Carolina Hongries, and then sit down with some soft bread and a glass of milk and give some thought to some chore you’re likely doing that has taken your joy. Then, kick that mood to the curb with all you’ve got. Only then will you be able to go joyfully into your day with a full stomach and a gladness to help those around you.
Glad to have you at the table, sew up a beautiful day.
P.S. In case you’re wondering, North Carolina Hongries breaks up like this: North Carolina is the adjective to “hongries” (which translates “hungries”). Meaning that this great breakfast spread is the only possible cure for the kind of hungry you get in North Carolina.
